If you’ve decided your marriage needs a tune up in the new year, don’t take a swing in the dark to try improving your relationship. Check out these 3 researched habits every marriage needs to succeed!

When conflict isn’t handled well, over time it can result in a marriage apocalypse! The first sign the apocalypse might be coming is criticism.

Criticism is what John Gottman of The Gottman Institute identifies as one of the 4 horsemen of marriage (the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a symbolic metaphor in the New Testament describing the end times) that opens the door to 3 more horsemen which, when all present, typically result in mass destruction.

Put these concepts from the Gottman Institute into practice if you want to shift out of criticism in your communication with your partner!

Disappointment is normal in life, and even though we know this to be true, it can hit harder when it happens in your marriage. When you’re more invested in a relationship, the effects of disappointment can be more profound and harder to bounce back from, and almost always result in conflict. The good news is, becoming more self-reflective about your expectations can help you adjust them in the future, cutting down on conflicts related to being disappointed.

About ⅓ of adults report that money is a big source of tension in their relationship. What is less common is knowing why this happens and what to do about it to make your marriage work.

In recent news, a senate candidate reportedly suggested that people in violent marriages full of anger shouldn’t get divorced. Although this is alarming, it serves to highlight the fact that there are indeed marriages that are in trouble due to anger that has gotten out of control. It’s clearly important to resolve anger, but there are 3 times it’s better to “let the sun go down on your anger”.

There is a large inventory of tools available to help marriages be successful, but there are 3 boundaries that should ALWAYS be in place!

What do you do when you’re having a conversation and you cannot get on the same page? You suddenly feel like you’re not on the same team and what started as a positive or even benign exchange suddenly goes south.

Why does Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's marriage involve so much gardening??

"143427_4571" by Walt Disney Television is marked with CC BY-ND 2.0.

What is spiritual abuse in marriage?

“Tell her what you want for lunch. Turn requests into commands. ‘Can you make me a sandwich?’ becomes ‘CAN YOU MAKE ME A SANDWICH.’ It’s not the words; it’s the tone.”-It’s Good to Be a Man FB post by Michael Foster

It is sad to say, but there seems to be a growing movement in the church that is aligning with abusive doctrines wrapped in bows of scripture.

While there are many different forms of abuse, I want to specifically address spiritual abuse in marriage.

“[Alot of people] think that Christianity is you doing all the righteous things you hate and avoiding all the wicked things you love in order to go to Heaven. No, that’s a lost man with religion. A Christian is a person whose heart has been changed; they have new affections.”

A friend of mine recently told me, “I’ve never wanted or needed to curse as much as I have this year!!”, speaking about her struggling marriage.

Most of us can feel that fall is in the air (and moving forward with great speed)...but guess what else is in the air??  REVIVAL!  

What does revival look like and how do we know it’s here?

What does “cutlitvate love” mean in a marriage? Is there more use for this saying than a trendy word on a t-shirt?

Both you and your spouse have likely absorbed other people’s garbage 🗑 throughout your life (and even throughout your day!)

Sometimes you may find yourself dumping that garbage on your spouse or having it dumped on you from them!

When this happens it might launch you back into one of many unhealthy patterns that have developed in your marriage.

When Todd and I first got married 💍we scheduled date nights faithfully every week. We did not realize that without kids every night is a date night!!

As life went on and children started coming we increasingly struggled to make the time🕐 for just the 2 of us. When we finally did make the time, much of it was focused on talking about issues that were stressful: finances💲, problems with the kids, uncommunicated resentments. We became less and less motivated to have our “special” time that wasn’t turning out to be so special. Who suggested this anyway???

Are you experiencing trauma in your marriage...on top of trauma from a life event? Is the pain and hopelessness in your relationship causing your life to feel like all the wheels are falling off?

Many times over our 28 year marriage 👩‍❤️‍👨we have had problems. We spent many of those years trying different ways to address those problems. In my early years I tried the cold shoulder (OK maybe I tried that in later years and I may or may not have accidentally tried it recently…).

We all know the magic of pictures. They are wonderful for capturing memories but they are also able to create the most elaborate illusions-even about your marriage!

Having a marriage that makes it through the long haul doesn’t just happen.