Making it Through the Long Haul

I love “before and afters”: here is before our marriage journey started and 28 years (and 5 months) after!!

I saw a quote today by Paulo Coelho that said, “kiss slowly, laugh insanely, live truly and forgive quickly” and I thought wow ! If i could write in one sentence what makes a marriage not just last but THRIVE, that would be it!

I am very task oriented (one of the things that works to my advantage as an entrepreneur) so over time, taking the time to stop and show affection towards Todd became less and less of a priority (it seemed so impractical and non-essential). When I realized that physical affection made HIM feel like a priority and strengthened our marriage I had to make some adjustments!

Affection and laughter create so many positive feelings around marriage I can’t emphasize their importance enough. When our relationship begins to be associated with too much seriousness, problem solving and criticism then the natural response is the temptation to avoid each other. No good.

That kind of positive enjoyable behavior becomes much more natural of course when you are living truly! Mean what you say and say what you mean (but don’t say it meanly)! Without trust (even in little things) there is NOTHING.

And of course it goes without saying that if you hold a grudge..well...let’s just say that’s where death comes in. I kid you not. Forgiving doesn’t mean what happened was Ok, but it does mean you abort the mission to make him somehow pay you back.

Sounds like an easy list of tips right? Not really. After 28 years of both amazing moments and periods of complete hopelessness, the reality (for us) is that our relationship with God, our good father, has been the bedrock of not just the longevity of our marriage but the fullness of joy we have in it now.

If your marriage is floundering or in a state of emergency and you need support or mentorship, reach out to me and we’ll get to work! There is ALWAYS hope.