Marriage killer alert: A religious spirit will kill your marriage!
“[Alot of people] think that Christianity is you doing all the righteous things you hate and avoiding all the wicked things you love in order to go to Heaven. No, that’s a lost man with religion. A Christian is a person whose heart has been changed; they have new affections.” ~ Paul Washer
What is a religious spirit? If you are a Christian, isn’t Christianity a religion?
First it’s important to look at the difference between religion and relationship. As Fritz Chery with Bible Reasons points out,
-Religion teaches you that you have to DO.
Although Christianity is technically a religion, it is the only religion in the world where you are justified by grace through FAITH in Christ ALONE (Romans 11:6, Romans 4:4-5). *warning: if this is preached but salvation through works is what is actually practiced, then it’s not true Chrisitanity: “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are FAR FROM me.”-Matthew 15:8
-God wants us to pursue Him.
Religion kills intimacy. WITHOUT INTIMACY THERE IS NO JOY. Where there is no joy, there is no life.
Leonard Ravenhill said, “There is no place on God’s earth more exciting than the church of the Living God when God is brooding there. And there is no place on God’s earth more boring [lifeless] when He isn’t.”
We were once part of a “church” (that we later found out was a cult/cult adjacent) where we would devoutly sit through the services and regardless of who was preaching, the atmosphere was lifeless from beginning to end. We were told that anytime part of our “spiritual” (religious) practice was challenging, we should choose to be obedient and suffer through it devotedly as a discipline. It builds character. It’s mature. So we kept showing up, week after week, despite a growing sense of death closing in on us.
Thankfully, because of our RELATIONSHIP with God that we had established before we joined them, our loving Father led us to another church to visit one Easter. When we entered, I could feel something in my body shift, just standing in the narthex!! I suddenly felt like I could physically breathe better (this is not an exaggeration). When the service actually started I was almost in tears as a life force filled the room and joy and beauty, warmth and awe permeated the atmosphere as the message of the gospel of grace was preached from start to finish.
We realized the teaching about “spiritual disciplines” had been twisted. Are spiritual disciplines important? Of course they are. But when disciplines are not accompanied by joy, even if they are at times painful, there is no life in them. Spiritual activity without life is legalism. Legalism is the fruit of a religious spirit.
-Religion robs us of the love of God
The Lord is clear in His word that He wants your relationship with Him to be characterized by love vs. duty. (Hosea 6:6 “I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings..”) When we bypass the love of God, we substitute religion for a relationship.
This results in hearts that are mean-spirited, irritable, judgmental, prideful, and loveless, unable to “give an answer with gentleness and respect” (1 Pet. 3:15). We encountered this first hand as we went on to experience not just boring and lifeless “church” but spiritual abuse in that community as well. This is the behavior seen in the Pharisees, the same people that crucified Jesus, and this is the behavior that will characterize and kill your marriage as well unless it is redeemed by Love.
“Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ALL THE LAW and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
If you have any duty to fulfill in your spiritual life, it is to receive the love of the Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit, and love Him back by loving your neighbor. Your closest neighbor is your spouse. LOVE THEM WELL!
